


Finding A Peace of Pack

by CorruptingThePreachersKid



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale is a Good Alpha, Derek Leaves, Derek-centric, Emotional Baggage, Hurt Derek, Hurt Derek Hale, More tags to be added, Pack Building, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, The Hale Fire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-08-29 19:17:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8502178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorruptingThePreachersKid/pseuds/CorruptingThePreachersKid
Summary: "I can't say here." Derek wanted to say more. But he couldn't. He's never been good with words. He wanted to say, "I can't heal here." No one here cares about me. I tried to give them everything. He tried to give them what they needed and what they wanted. Yet they threw him aside so quickly. Fuck them. Fuck all of them. He's not going to let them hurt him, anymore. I'm not going to stay here. The pack wants Scott as their alpha, with Stiles constantly undermining him, fine, they can have them. But, he won't be there to be blame for everyhing.
 
(Or a story about Derek's man-pain and the journey he goes on to stop breaking his own heart and to start letting it heal.)





	1. Chapter 1

"Shut up, Scott! No matter what I do. No matter how hard I try, you'll always come in and just do better. This has never been my pack. It's always been yours. So have it," Derek growled, "Just have it."  
"That's it, then? You're just going to leave?" Scott screamed at Derek's back. The alpha just kept walking. All the way to his car. Where he sat, quietly. Derek wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. Wanted to fall apart even more. Cora slid in to the passenger seat. "I can't do this." He whispered. She squeezed his arm, "Let's just go home." She offered him a small smile. But Derek shook his head, "I can't go there. There's too many ghost there. I can't," His voice cracked. And, for a second, all Cora saw was a little boy. "Okay," she said, "I'll drive us to a motel." Derek let her. Didn't complain about his Camaro. He just traded spots with her. They didn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive. 

// I think I lost my mind a while ago  
cos I've been seeing some ghosts  
and I'd be lying if I told you I'm fine//

"I can't say here." Derek wanted to say more. But he couldn't. He's never been good with words. He wanted to say, "I can't heal here." No one here cares about me. I tried to give them everything. He tried to give them what they needed and what they wanted. Yet they threw him aside so quickly. Fuck them. Fuck all of them. He's not going to let them hurt him, anymore. I'm not going to stay here. The pack wants Scott as their alpha, with Stiles constantly undermining him, fine, they can have them. But, he won't be there to be blame for everyhing. Luckily, he didn't have much to pack. Two duffel bags and he was set. "Ready?" Cora asked, plopping on my makeshift bed. He nodded. "You know, the Camaro isn't exactly made for road trips." Cora started. Derek sighed. He could tell something's coming by the way she's grinning, "But I found us something that is!" She held up a picture of some van. "What the hell is that?"  
"It's a van, Der. Look, it has a bed in the back and stove top and a sink. And it's for sale nearby. We can just trade in the Camaro for it."  
"No."  
"You won't even be here to drive it."  
"So?"  
"Derek, come on, please?"  
"Why can't we just buy it?"  
"It's more cost efficient."  
"No."  
"Derek."  
"No."  
"Derek," She whined, dragging out every word. He let out a sigh, "I like my Camaro."  
"But you won't be here to drive," After a pause, she added, "When you come back, you can just get a new one; Like an updated model or a different car altogether! Come on, Der." Derek's not going to win this. Cora was determined and hopeful and way too stubborn. But, he's still going to try. "Or, I could just put this one in a garage."  
"Derek, it's a car. You can buy a new one. Let this one go." Cora said, softly. So he sighed, "Okay, fine. Whatever." It's just car.  
"Yay! Thanks, big bro. I'll give the dealership a call." 

That's how Derek ended up at a car dealership with a converted 2011 Ford Transit van. "That is it, big bro." Cora said, closing the back. Derek frowned. "Are you not putting your stuff?" He asked. She shook her head. "Nope. I'm not going," She placed a hand on his cheek, "We both need to heal. But not in the same way. I need to stay here and figure out how to build a life for myself. But you need to leave and go find a version of yourself that isn't hurting," She hugged him, "I'll miss you, but I can't ask you to stay." Derek cleared his throat, "I guess this is goodbye."  
"Only for now." Cora smiled, "Keep me updated alright?"  
"Alright." Derek said, pulling away. Get in the car, he told himself. It'll be easier once you start driving.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't, but, if he started, he could keep going. At least, Derek told himself he could. This is it, Beacon Hills. Just one place left. Derek turned into the vet's parking lot. Why are you here, Derek imagined Cora hiss, He let our family die. He sighed, So did I. Derek got out his "new" car. He heard Deaton stop pacing. He could smell the anxiety from out here. The new wolf opened the door, snarling, "Want do you want?" What did he want? Derek growled back, "Go pack. We're leaving town."  
"I have a business, which you've ruined, by the way. I can't just Leave it."  
Derek raised an eyebrow, "You just said it yourself. Your business is already ruined." Deaton huffed, turning around. Derek followed him in, listening to the other man rant under his breathe. "I thought druids were always supposed to be calm and collected." He said. "I'm not a druid anymore, now am I?" He snapped back. "I guess not." Derek responds, refusing to feel bad about this. Deaton let his family die. Now he is paying the price. So is Derek. "You could always stay with Stiles and his pack, if you prefer it." He said, picking up one of Deaton's books. The vet snatched it out of his hands, "I'll chose you, being the lesser evil. Thank you very much." At least someone has chosen me.

Turns out of travelling with the veteran is exactly how Derek imagined it. Once he calmed down, he was pretty chill. He knew a lot of people and places. AND he could read map and stayed quiet when nothing had to be said. Except when he had his bad days. This was one of his bad days:

"They would've died anyway," The vet snarled, "They would've burned anyway. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything." Just like that, the angry poured out of him. Deaton slid down the wall, looking tired. "I couldn't save any of them, Derek." His voice cracked, "Even if I said something, they would've died anyway. But I still tried."  
"What about you talking about?" Derek growled. Deaton gave a humorless chuckle, "You wouldn't understand. I just told you and you don't understand. Your family had to burn."  
"You could've stopped it." Derek snapped, "You could've told us." He only got a small smile in return, "You're wrong. I would've gotten killed for my efforts. Your memories would've been wiped. And your family would've still died." Deaton leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "It had to happen. It had to. And there was nothing I could do."  
"You said you wanted to harvest the power of the land! That's why you let my family die! That's what YOU said."  
"I did want to harvest it. Doesn't mean an entire family had to be burnt alive."  
"Then Why'd you let it happen?" He snarled. Deaton growled back. "Because it had to. Don't you understand? They had to die!" He shouted.  
"But why?"  
"To keep the balance! Everything I've done was to keep the balance!"  
"Shut up! Just shut up about the fucking balance."  
"You can hate a woodpecker for pecking wood but that won't stop it from doing what's in it's nature! Keeping the balance was in my nature! That's all I've ever known. And now, now I can't do it anymore. I can't do anything anymore." Deaton looked ready to accept death. Derek let all his angry bleed out of him. "Why didn't you say that then?" He asked. The vet shrugged, "Everyone already made up their mind that I was the bad guy. That I wasn't to be trusted. So why should I? Little does Stiles know being a druid comes with too many secrets and he just cursed his friend and freed me."  
"Cursed?" Derek echoed. Deaton sighed, "If Danny can't keep the secrets that come with being a druid, he won't keep his life. The druid council will come and kill him."  
"You have to tell him."  
"No. I want them to suffer. They took that from me so they should suffer the consequences." He muttered, bitterly. "Deaton, you can't risk him dying, because you want revenge." He said, sighing. "Stiles," Derek growled at the mention of /him/ but Deaton still continued on, "Risked you dying when he took your wolf, because he wanted revenge."  
"He's not a good example."  
"I'm still not telling them."  
-Two hours laters-  
"It was just calling to warn you...Okay, goodbye, Danny." Deaton hung up the payphone. Glaring at the alpha standing two feet away from him. "Come on. Let's leave before Danny traces the phone call." Derek said, turning away from him. Deaton continued glaring as he got in the car. 

Derek dropped him off a week later. After all he did have a business to run. Even if it after this it wouldn't be as successful it was still a business he needed to take care of. He still has customers he needs to tend to. Derek drops him off at the edge of town. He's not ready He's not ready to go back yet. He doesn't think he will ever be. So he wait for that time to walk away. Be a safe distance before turning on the car and turning away. He doesn't know where to go he's just driving. As lost as ever. As lost as always. He ends up in a small town somewhere in Iowa. The type with a bunch of abandoned places. The type where everyone knows each other. The type where everyone's family tree could be traced back to the beginning of finding the town. He parks in the forest as far as the van will go and sets up camp.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried proofreading, before posting, this time.

The yell was the first thing he heard. It was short and pain filled. Like someone cut of the person screaming. Without thinking about it, Derek took off running. Someone needed help. Then, came the burning smell. It wasn’t heavy like the burning building. Maybe, a camp fire. With if I come across a sacrifice, he thought, stopping at the edge of the forest. Derek carefully studies an abandoned-looking house. Then, there was another scream, “Mya!”. And he was running inside; following the sound, without another thought. He ended up in the basement. Staring at a lineup of 6 dog cages; three on each side. Four had people in it and only one seemed to be conscious. And two bodies, laying in middle of them. He goes over to the girl. She looks young, like 18. Her face looks gaunt and dirty. If she were healthy, he thinks she might remind him of Braeden. “Are you okay? How can I help?” Derek asked. She snarled at him. He flashed my eyes at her, growling; Forcing her to submit. Her’s flashed back blue. “The keys,” She whimpered, “They’re near her.” Her head jerked to the one of the body on the floor. Derek made the mistake of taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of wolfsbane, urine, sweat, tears, and death. And mixed with a strong burning scent. He gagged, trying to hold his breath. He kneel next to her, examining her burnt face. In the moonlight, the steam rising off her body could be seen. His eyebrows furrowed at the sight of her. This doesn’t make any sense. How is she burnt? There isn’t a fireplace down there. There isn’t even an open fire. How came there’s nothing else burning? He grabbed the keys, trying not to think too hard about it. They’re hunters, he told himself.They were torturing people. It doesn’t matter how they died; They probably deserved it. “Careful,” She whispered,“ There’s stuff on the…” She paused, “Cage?” She said carefully, as if she didn’t know if it was the right word. I nodded, “Yes. It’s a cage. And the stuff’s wolfsbane.” He hear himself say, “Stay away from it. Enough of it could kill you.” She nodded, quietly repeating it to herself. Derek unlocked the cage, quickly shaking off the power on his hands. “Can’t.” She gritted out, “I can’t stand.” He reached in, pulling her out. His entire hand could wrap around her bicep and then some. He was careful, scared of accidentally snapping her bone. Derek tried standing her up, but her knees bucked. “I’m going to set you on the stair, okay? Try stretching out.” He said, carrying her. “The others?” She asked, “They’re alive.” Derek nodded. He could hear their heartbeats. She rolled her eyes. She could hear them too. “I’ll get them. Can you tell me what happened?” He asked, trying to distract her. “Nope.” She hissed, flexing her toes. Derek reached out and taking some of her pain.  
“ Please?”  
“No.”  
“Why not?” Derek started opening the other cages. Frankly, keeping her talking helped him ignore the smell. “Because it's none ya business.” She said, simply. “I'm just trying to help.” He snapped. She growled, “Well, excuse me for not wanting to pour my helps out to you, stranger.”  
“I know you killed them.” Even though he wasn't. But she smelled the most like burning. “How?” She snarled. “Your eyes are blue. If you’re an ‘innocent’,” He used air quotations, “Omega, they aren’t suppose to change.” She huffed. “But you don’t know how.” She muttered. Well, he had a pretty good idea how. “Then, why don’t you tell me?” He gloated. “I'm can't.” She sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like the way this chapter turned out. But I can say that for most of the story. Which sucks, because I had some really good plans for it. But I can't bring myself to write them down. I'm really trying to not lose motivation, since I started this because it was something I wanted to read. There aren't many fics about Derek dealing with his issues or healing without a relationship, you know?
> 
> With all that being said, I'll try to continue this as much as I can.


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s wrong?” She asked. “What?” Derek frowned. “I may not know everything about being whatever I am-”  
“You’re a probably werewolf.”  
“But, I do know when someone is sad.” She said. Derek sighed. “I was just thinking about someone back home.” He said. “Where’s home?” She asked. “California.”  
“That’s far from here,” She said, quietly, “I can’t imagine being that far from Mya. Are they your other half?” Derek nodded, “But it didn’t work out.” He changed the subject, “I’m going to take them upstairs. It’s not safe down here.” Derek picked up a girl in the cage next to the firebender and the boy in the cell across from them. “That’s Mya.” She said, nodding to the girl in his arms. He could hear the love in her voice. He nodded, being careful as he climbed the stairs. She was watching him. He took the time to study the house. The wallpaper was pealing off. The furniture was covered with bed sheets. Everything else was covered in a layer of dust. Derek set Mya and the boy on the floor, propping the up against the wall. He then shook the dust on the sheets and put them back. The couch itself was practically being eaten by termites. Yeah, they aren’t staying here, he decided, I can rent a hotel. He goes back downstairs. “Be careful with him. He’s a bit rogue.” She advised, “But he’s too tired to do any real damage.” Derek nodded, dropping him over one shoulder. “How are your legs?” He asked. She shrugged, “They have some feeling. Blood’s flowing to them, so I can’t complain.” She wiggled them some more. “Think you can make it upstairs?”  
“It’s been so long since I’ve actually walked, but yeah, I'll be fine.” Derek nodded, staying close just in case. But she doesn't need his help. The irritation rolling of her let him know that just fine. She wobbled up the stairs and found a rotting couch to collapse on. She took a deep breathe. Derek pretended like he couldn't hear her heart pounding. She closed her eyes. “I'll be back.” He muttered, heading towards his camp. Hopefully, nothing happened while he was gone.


End file.
